This talk aims to understand the selfobject transferences as they play out in extreme groups marked with authoritarianism and rigid structures. This paper is thus a prodding to broaden the ambit of our consulting rooms from families and immediate caregivers to the role of many ‘others’ we encounter who have a significant impact in shaping our identities and self. An extreme group with a rigid ideological framework can alter one’s self experience, irrespective of whether one has had a safe and a secure base through warm and empathetic caregivers. It further aims to recognize the yearnings, the longings for a reliable, secure caregiver and the murky terrain where these yearnings can be exploited by a seemingly powerful yet exploitative leader. Furthermore, this talk explores the implications for survivors of cult experience, where the constant dread of a repetition can lead to selfobject needs being suspended and frozen. Entry and membership to such extreme groups can be a response to the gaps in early care; but the sustenance of such memberships needs reimagining of our analytic ideas beyond the language of deprivation and deficits. By focusing on the speaker’s work with a former cult member, the talk also aims to demonstrate the use of the intersubjective framework to help explore the thwarted developmental needs in a way that is generative and respectful of individual freedom and needs.